I don’t get homelessness.
Why do some people thrive and others fall away from society into despair? Are some people weak and others strong? I've walked through my fair shares of trials and tribulations. Like many, I could have easily given up. When faced with belly aching despair, I could have been seduced by the dark side of life and escaped from my misery but instead I tend to reach for my mettle detector: 'Kipling’s, poem ‘IF’
Life has a funny way of turning around. Perhaps it’s psychological or emotional strength, perhaps it’s the investment put into relationships or perhaps it’s upbringing? In my case maybe it’s all three things interwoven with an ego that can’t settle being anyone’s victim. No matter how dark the night, I always run towards light like my life depends on it. I always have done, I know I’m here to thrive, we all are. That’s why I don’t get why someone would give up.
I think that’s why I struggle with ‘homelessness’. Since taking part in the Gurseva project and Soup kitchen in December, I’ve been reading much about the plight of rough sleepers and trying to get my head round it. What I really mean is, trying to find a solution. Why do people sleep rough – is it society’s fault? It’s easy to see how financial problems could lead to homelessness. Or is it the individual’s fault? Stats show that many homeless individuals have a history of substance abuse or antisocial behaviour. From a ‘Sikh’ or spiritual perspective, it doesn’t matter what the cause is. Where each here to do Seva within our society; serve others and invest in our social infrastructure, without judgement, I might add.
However, despite my best intensions, I still felt judgemental.
I felt annoyed that as a society we allow so much homelessness, I felt pity for individuals who are on a one way self destruct path. Nevertheless, I tried my best to offer help and comfort, and doing so I learnt a thing or two. As soon as I met and talk to some of the homeless in my community, my frustration fell into compassion. There are many reasons for rough sleeping and understanding the psycho-social factors that lead people to that place takes time. But beyond compassion, I felt the need for recognition and acceptance was at the heart of how we need to consider our less fortunate neighbours.
There are many amazing community and national groups that work tirelessly to solve the urgent issue of homelessness. Their work of course is crucial. But our role is crucial too:
Personally, the biggest thing I learnt was the importance of ‘recognising’ these people as part of our society, rather than a problem to be solved.
Anyone who similarly assuaged their social guilt with a soup kitchen stint at Christmas, will probably also been surprised by the quiet dignity of their ‘customers’. Of course they need food and shelter, but the hunger for ‘love’ is just as deep. We all yearn to be seen, recognised and accepted as a human being despite our circumstances. A smile and conversation, will warm their hearts as much as the soup and tea.
That food is the invaluable part of what the Gurseva Project and Ealing Soup Kitchen provide. I am humbled by the investment of time and love that many such groups provide, and grateful that they let some of my friends and I come along.
I’ll being joining Darren Moore who's one of the people helping with the next Ealing soup kitchen on Sunday 5th February. If you’d like to find out more contact Darren via twitter @darrenmoore or via his website www.darrenmore.co.uk.
I'm a Writer, Researcher, Entrepreneur, Psychologist, MBA and ponderer of things that make people, business and relationships work better.
I have a venture that I'm starting called Lovephool that uses the latest in Strength Based thinking from Positive Psychology, MBA and Business to help people have more resilient, happier and more connected lives.
Stop by and say hello and tell me what you think at www.lovephool.co.uk
I'm a Writer, Researcher, Entrepreneur, Psychologist, MBA and ponderer of things that make people, business and relationships work better.
I have a venture that I'm starting called Lovephool that uses the latest in Strength Based thinking from Positive Psychology, MBA and Business to help people have more resilient, happier and more connected lives.
Stop by and say hello and tell me what you think at www.lovephool.co.uk
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